Category Archives: Thoughts

Sneeze-y Saturday

#nowplaying – Call me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen.

nice song. (Y)

Picture this. Mummy vacuuming, and I’m sneezing like shit. Mountain of tissues piled beside me, am so disgusting.  Worse Feeling ever.

Alright, a nice opening. Hi everyone, I am back finally after neglecting this tiny space for quite long. (Last post: AUG 21st 2012). Roughly 3 weeks back?! What the shimmer?

A weird habit, I have thoughts to blog about whenever my mum is doing housework. I will stone for a while, and off to on my lappy to ‘rant’. Okay, I always describe myself as ‘ranting’ whenever I blog. Complain Spoilt Queen.

Yesterday, I came upon this sentence: Only incompetence people will blame the world is unfair.

And it just stuck in my mind from then on, making me want to share with everyone.

Mixed feelings.

One side of me do agree with this. Somehow, I should say is my character.

It’s hard to put in words, especially when I’m not an expressive person. But, I will try my best.

There are examples, of people who are successful in their life. Glamorous, rich and worshipped by many. This is just the surface, what they allow us to see. However, we never know how much they have been through.

They have setbacks, of course. As my age gets older, I starting to believe that no one will ever be that smooth in their careers. You will only learn when you fail, my firm belief. This makes me recall one of my teachers said about Silicon Valley.

It is a place where people failed in their business many times before they became successful in life. If you’re in there, and have never fall down before. They will look down on you. Arrogant crowd, but with full respect from me.

So, back to topic. Side tracked, apologies.

In this competitive world, every one will compete for their own best interest. No one, or maybe the rare minority will support each other in their own industry, others (sadly to say, the majority) are just selfish beings.

No one will want to be losers right? ( I hope)

Fate, is something that they don’t really believe in. However, they control it. Their mindset is hard to de-code. Well, one word to describe them will be: Thinker.

They Think alot. From stupid stuffs like what to have for later, to chim-erlogy issues. They Think to improve themselves. They reflect alot, and will not make the same mistakes again. To them, it will be dumb if you just stand at the same spot, and not moving on at all.

Plus, they will never, ever give up. They will not blame the world whether it is fair or not. They don’t care in fact, cause they have much better things to do than just grumble. Actually, to some, they will think life is fair and God has plans for everyone in this world.

Another side of me disagree. My empathy.

Most of us are living in the world of luxury. By saying ‘Luxury’, is not being wealthy and having bird nest to rinse your mouth every morning.

You have a shelter for protection, food to eat, money to spend and time to pamper yourself. Isn’t this the basic of living?

For some, they will want more. Well, this is understandable. Who doesn’t?

Who doesn’t want to just swipe the card, for their love-at-first-sight without a second thought?

Who doesn’t want to pamper themselves everyday, with people treating you like royalties?

Who doesn’t want to have presents that they put in their wishlist?

Who doesn’t want to live in a life when you don’t need to worry about anything?

Who doesn’t, right?

We, or I, take things for granted. Honestly, I cannot live in places like Kampong where there is not electricity, mobile phones or a clean toilet.

Yes, I am quite particular with toilets. Shamelessly, I am the typical 21st century person. Severely, influenced by the high-technology and clean environment.

Okay, so this is the basic of life. ( repeated to stress this point).

However, if you have watched some documentary, people in the Third World Countries. Your heart will give in, at least for me I will.

Their basic of living, is unlike us. All they want is to have a space to live, and enough food for the whole family.

They don’t want HDB flats.

They don’t want mobile phones.

They don’t need internet.

Just a tiny space, and food. That’s all, simply like this.

Unlike me, they can settle for a poorly furnished toilets. Hygiene to them, is total bullshit. What they have asked for, are just some favours that we can easily granted with reachable height.

However, they just can’t. They need to fight for survival.

When plague decided to haunt them, they cannot do anything. All they can do, is to pray that it won’t strike on them with their loved ones.

Well, our comments will be: they are so unfortunate. Life is unfair to them cause they didn’t do anything wrong at all.

So now, do you understand my meaning of ‘ Mixed feeling’?

Different people different preference.

With thoughts and sincerity,

Freakfeelings

Advertisements

Thank you…

I would like to express my gratitude to all that have brightened up my life in this tiny space.

Well, I know it may be just words being typed out with both of my thumbs. Trust me, it is from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you.
For those who have blessed me on my birthday. Even though I did not reply each wonderful person one by one, I’m truly grateful with you. Really, thank you.

Thank you.
My wonderful colleagues.
I really learned a lot during these few months. Sorry for my mistakes, and all the troubles that I have made. I’m really thankful to be working with you all.
Really, thank you.

Thank you.
My colourful friends. You guys have coloured my life into a beautiful picture. And, also tolerating my nonsenses and rubbish. More to come in future, take note.
Really, thank you.

Thank you.
Mother nature for giving me all I need to live as a person, allow me to see mesmerizing scenery.
Generosity is all I can describe for you.
Really, thank you.

As the saying goes, save the best for the last.
Thank you.
My family. Forgiving, big-hearted, warmth, comfortable, celebrations, food, shelter, last but not least, love.

With thanks,
Freakfeelings

You have #GMH

I am going to talk about someone that have helped me to see another side of life.

He was not someone popular or someone who was influential.

He, was a house-keeper in my workplace.

I have met him only roughly 2 months, from the day I started working in my current job. At first, I did not talk to him much, just only greeting terms. To me, he was quite old in age and  somehow makes worry about him when handling heavy tasks.

Everyday, he would come without fail to help keep the cleanliness of the office. He would do his usual routine, starting with washing the plates, clear rubbish bins to vacuum the carpeted floor.

He was a polite man. When we helped to pour away the rubbish into his big plastic bag, he would go’ thank you thank you’. Or, he would insist doing it himself. I remembered once, I was still new to the office and didn’t know where to put my used spoon.

He  would smile to me and asked:’ you want to clear this ah, just put inside here lor’ in a very cheerful and casual tone.

Another encounter with him was that I have accidentally stained my table with green tea, and asked to borrow his cloth. He was smiling and nodded his head in a friendly way.

Sadly to say, after these two encounters, I did not start any conversation with him anymore.

Only once, I was just back from my lunch. Then, I heard commotion of my colleagues saying:’ you are bleeding alot uncle. You need to go see doctor!’

I quickly rushed to see what have happened, then saw him pressing tissues on his neck. The tissue was almost fully stained with blood. His shirts, hands, neck were all stained with blood too. My Superior took him to see doctor, even though he kept on refusing the offer. Have to say, I was stunned with what I have saw.

Ever since, I started to be quite worried about his health.

The next day, he did not report for work. I was relieved, cause he needed that rest.

After that, he has reported for work again. Only then, he was like weaker than I first saw him. When he helped to clear up my area, I attempted to start conversation with him and asked him how was his neck.

‘Much better already. The doctor said that my skin is too thin, that’s why will bleed that time. But okay already, no more bleeding.’ While talking, he kept on pointing his neck, to show my that it was no longer bleeding. To assure me, I think.

Then he continued:’ you know ah, i really like this place alot. I have worked here for nine years. Really really like this place alot, that I don’t want to leave at all. This place is like my second home. The people here are very nice.’ You can see from his face, that he really love working at my workplace alot.  I always eat medicine, till my voice no more. Next week, need to see doctor again, to see whether need to continue medication or not’

Oh, I forgot to mention. He need alot of effort to talk, think he has some problems with his throat. His hearing wasn’t well too.

Then I went back doing my stuffs, he came back and said:’ Miss ah, please don’t tell others of what i have told you okay? shhh..’ he put his finger on his lips. Cute uncle.

I nodded my head, and did the same too. Finger on my lips.

Ever since that incident, I become very worried of him with all the carrying of stuffs. He was obviously weaker than before. Once, I went to pantry to refill my water. I saw him sitting on the chair, hand touching his stomach, look like in alot of pain. I went over to ask how he was, he kept on re-assuring me he was alright and just had medicine. And, he kept on urging me not to tell my Superior.

I felt really bad when i recalled this incident. I should have helped to ask permission for him to go home early to rest. After that, he beared with the pain and continued to his tasks. When he bent down to pick up the bins, he have to sit down in order to reach it. Feeling really bad enough, I helped to clear bins for him.

The uncle was absent from work ever since that day, if I did not miss anything. One day, an aunty came in to replace his work.

I thought he have quitted his job to rest and enjoy his golden years. However, i was wrong.

He have passed away.

I was so shocked. I have regretted so much for not talking to him more. Regretted so much for not asking him to rest and helped him with the rest of the tasks.

I hate this feelings of life with regrets. When it is too late, nothing can be done. It have made me realized to cherish of the people around you. You will never be able to predict anything next. When anything bad really come true, you will start saying,’ i should have… i should have….’

Why give fate a chance to let you regret, right…?

Deeply in my heart, i salute this uncle for his passion to work and thank him for telling me simple happiness.

Rest in peace uncle. Hope you are enjoying on place you are at now, thank you for everything you have done.

Thank you :)

With Grateful and Thank you,

Freakfeelings

 

Advertisements