Monthly Archives: February 2015

A book to thank for…

Recently, quite a number of shits have happened to me. Yet, I tell myself that things will definitely be fine in time to come.

This Too Shall Pass. 

Yes, true enough. I am thankful that life has not sentenced me to months of misery.I am grateful for all those friends that helped me through, my family to encourage me and tell me “it’s fine, don’t worry” and she who is the only one that knows I need this words the most ” Everything is going to be okay.”.

I know this is just simple words, but impactful. I don’t need a famous motivator to tell me that I can, it is total bullshit. I don’t even know you personally, why on earth should i pay and go to you for those expensive yet cheap words?

To me, it is the person who said it. And she, as always and ever, never disappoint me. It is not about the years, but the heart and connection.

So, I have been reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” and today, I have actually teared while reading the book.

I salute Ana for her courage and bluntness to tell Grey what she want through typing.

I salute Ana who stand firm in her ground of wants and needs, while I suppose other submissive would have long been floating with materialistic desires.

For the part that I teared about, it is touching and alluring.

I dare to say that at least a tiny part in every girl’s mind would urge to be the female leading. However, as this is a frictional story, so I believe that the author has a deep understanding to all the silent desires that most females are not willing to admit.

At that moment, I hope to be Anastasia Steele. I hope that I can have the warm hug to put me to sleep. I hope that I can have the telepathy that tell me that “I am here, you are not alone”. I hope that I can email “because you are not here…” and straight after my want would come true. I hope that when I wake up in the morning, and everything is not just a dream or my imagination. I hope to see those pair of soft and heartbreaking eyes that is meant for me. The warmth is real, and comforting.

After closing the book, everything ends. All these thoughts vanish away like thin air, and I am here sitting on the train waiting to alight at my stop.

Maybe the reason that brought me to tears while immersed in the reading, is that this has been well-kept in my heart ever since I decided to swallow all my feelings. I hate to be transparent to people, in order not to feel stupid. Ultimately, you are alone fighting your everyday battle. Your loved ones will be there, but fighting depend on self. Lonely, but challenging.

I have never read a book that has shook me so much.

This is truly, as per the highly graded worldwide phenomenon, a book that deserve a long thundering standing ovation.

WIth regards,

Ayeannjee