Monthly Archives: December 2014

You miss the memories, not the person

Do you have any regrets of missing out anyone in life?

I do.

A recap. My life has always been great. I have a family and wonderful friends. However, in some point of time, your brain developed and you start to doubt people. You doubt if they are telling you the truth, you doubt if they are really genuine or just trying to get something out of you. You doubt if they are trying their best to screw up your life, or anything that matters to you.

People are selfish to a certain extent. Even the most selfless person in the world, will bound to have something that cannot be shared with others.

As we grow up and face the adult world, you start to be cautious. You are no longer the happy-go-lucky young chap anymore. You think, you digest and you see. You learn to think twice before you believe. You learn to digest every words you heard before you speak up. You see who are the ones that are carrying the knifes behind their back.

And then, you start to question yourself. Am I wrong in any way to be treated like this? So, now the world can’t forgive a person by saying “Sorry”? Has the word loses its value now?

You fight with yourself, telling your brain to stop thinking so much. You choose to ignore even though every part of your body feel that something is wrong. Things have changed. You are no longer that important anymore. You are not the victim, but the cause of all these issues. You no longer deserve this.

However, a good thing is, you see who are the ones that will stand by your side. You know who will be the one that mock at your misery behind you back while putting on a mask. This is tough to handle, but worth it. You have evil thoughts, but diminished because it is not worth it.

One of us has to stop, if not it will be a never-ending battle.

Well, once you stop, you know that the string will be cut off. Things will be different. You never believe, and never trust. It will be scarred to your mind forever, until the day you pass away. You look at the photo, and all the memories start to come back. Until the time you realise, actually it is the memories and feelings that you treasure, not the person.

The person is no longer the same. Things have changed. And you too, should no longer be the same anymore. Things are different, your mind should be different.

Go with the flow, oversee what will be happening. If you are right, give yourself a pat on the shoulders and reward yourself. If you are wrong, tell yourself that it is fine. When you starting to doubt, it means something has already gone wrong.

There is no reason for doubt to happen if things are going great. You may choose to forget all the lessons learn, and banish all the bad memories. However, deep in your heart, you know that you should never ever trust again.

As much as it is hard to believe… stick to your beliefs and always stand firm.

With regards,

Ayeannjee.