Monthly Archives: July 2014

In life, you don’t need to give a reason to anyone for everything you do.

Have you ever experienced a casual conversation just let you see another aspect in life?

It happened around last year, and I am still able to remember clearly.

I was being introduced to this friend who is building up his portfolio in tattoo-ing experience. He is nice, and very friendly. Ever since the first time I got him to help with my first tattoo, I’ve never wanted to change another artist anymore.

Not because of any specific reason, just that I feel comfortable with him for doing my inks. That’s all. Don’t really need a good or ‘meaningful’ reason.

So we were talking about those tattoos that have meanings behind them. For example, “This Too Shall Pass” means that regardless you are in a good or bad situation, it will be gone so just enjoy the moment while it last.

Something like that.

And random enough, he popped out a question: “Must we need to have a reason for every tattoo we do? If we want, just do it. As long as it makes us happy.”

And trust me, from then on, his words are stuck in mind and even help me in deciding some life choices too.

In the past, as I’ve realised, I have always been reckless and do whatever things I want. It is somehow selfish, and impulsive which I cannot deny that I do regret some time.

So, my sisters who are much more thoughtful, taught me that I need to think of the consequences and decide if it is worth my efforts and money. I heed their advice, and become what they want me to be. Well, it is sort of living to people’s expectation and the feeling of achievements when one compliment that you’ve changed. Words from your loved ones have weight, no doubt.

I reflected, and surprisingly agreed with what he said.

Isn’t that the simplest yet hardest to achieve in life?

Most of us have expectations. What we want to become in future, and our standard we are setting for ourselves. Unknowingly, we are setting the same standards for others as well.

Without looking back, we have missed out many simple joys in life while pursuing our careers or goals. Sometimes, we give ourselves excuses that we don’t need this simplicity in life, and only our goals are the utmost important.

The reasons that we gave ourselves are, sometimes, not even true. We are lying to ourselves in order to avoid judgments from others. You’re scared that people will see you as ‘immature’ or ‘reckless’ when you can’t give them a good reason behind your actions.

Words can be a deadly weapon too.

You are afraid the mockery and not firm enough to support yourself among all these negativity.

You know, I believe that some idiots are questioning you for your actions in order to put you down and embarrass you. So, why allow them?

In their face, tell them that you do not need to explain to them for your actions because they aren’t worthy of your time and effort. Confidence is the key. Believe in yourself, and be the last man standing.

You need to understand that you do not need reason for every single thing you do. You do not need an answer for your every actions, as long as it makes you happy. Simple as that. Why squeeze your brain juice trying to come out with a reason to convince others?

It will complicate everything, and in the end you’re doubting yourself as well.

Take myself for example, I do not need a reason to explain why do I want to ink myself. I just do it. Why should I even troubled to come out with a last-min reason to make you happy?

I do not need a reason to explain why am I not going to University for now.

I do not need a reason to explain why am I so straightforward and sarcastic in nature. (Well, you must have deserve it in some sense.)

Well, I am not always right. But, I do have motto in life that I’m strongly believed in. Even if I am wrong, at least I learn from my mistake and never repeat the history again.

Don’t even allow people’s mindless words to stop you from your pursuing your dreams or happiness. You know for yourself, what is the most important things in your life. They don’t.

Okay, so there will be some jokers or sicko around, that twist the words. You know there are always people who have nothing better to do that make your life miserable.

I don’t want to bother too much explaining, I have made my words clear. If you want to make a joke of yourself by twisting the words another way round, by all means. I believe that people with true intelligence know what i am driving at.

“Your confidence will shine through, and that aura will attract others like moths to a flame.”

Signing off,
Ang.

Once a follower, always a follower.

In my last post, I am disgusted by people who uses the sympathy card to gain attention.

So, I have another type of disgusting people who irritate the hell out of me.

Have you ever encounter people who only make friends with riches, socialites or “cool” people?

You know what I mean right?

You can only see them mixing around with those cool kids in town, or those who are VIPs to clubs because of their family/social background. They are a clique, which those socialite-wannabe will die to be in. They will join their every outing and boost their social network. Boasting around their upcoming overseas trip, and think very highly of themselves.

They feel that they are in the upper levels, and enjoying all the spotlight they’re getting.

From a nobody and thanks to their high media exposure friend, they started to gain “followers”.

They will only make friends with people who are beneficial to them. Like free entry to VIP areas, or enjoying good food in a posh restaurant. Their bank account do not have much saving, but still they will find ways to keep up with their ‘atas’ friends.

For those who they feel more like a commoner, they put on a fake front to share bro-code with them. Stupid.

I was wondering, don’t they feel tired at all from trying so hard to fit in?
Why do they want to be in the “upper-east side’ so much?

They think that everyone wants to know them. However, some will question who the hell are they?
Do we need to know them?

Anyways, this is my short rant for these socialite-wannabe. To me, they are just a small fry that have no social status in this world at all.

Once a follower, always a follower.

Signing off,
Ang.

Why we shouldn’t give in to Social Pressure/ Sympathy Card

Some people just can’t keep their mouth shut. They like to comment on anyone, anything and everything.

Every time I heard or face a person’s comment about myself, my mind will go “What is it gotta do with you?”

(Okay, maybe some times I do give stupid comments as well without realizing.)

As much as I look like someone who doesn’t give a shit about those strangers or people I don’t consider friends as all, I do get affected by their words or expression too.

Especially when I was much younger, I do worry about how people look at me or see me as a person/friend.

After a while, fuck this shit. I have got greater things to worry in my life. Why should I be bothered by what people see me? Why should I please the crowd and make myself miserable?

There is never ever gonna an ending to make everyone happy. Different people have different perspective. Your looks, your body shape, your weight, your height, your hair, your style, your virginity and the list goes on. In short, everyone has something to say on YOUR EVERYTHING.

One day, you change your hairstyle. People will ask:” Why did you change? You look better before.”

One day, you change your makeup. People will say:” Ew, you look like a whore. Your makeup is too thick, darling/”

One day, you start on your healthy diet. People will say:” Since when did you become so health conscious?”

Everything, just every single shit in what you do, some will not see eye to eye.

And, if you become a crowd pleaser, you will lose yourself.

But wait, please do not confuse this with being a  “steady person” (who are those that happy to go with the flow).

A crowd pleaser is when everyone is happy, you are not. Whenever you decide to go with some plans, you will worry about what people think with your change.

A “steady” person is when everyone is happy, you are happy. You do not complain too much. And once you go with the plan together with the majority, you enjoy it and not pull a black face during the whole time.

As when you are totally giving in to social pressure, you will find it tough to become a person that you want to. Instead, you became the person that outsiders want you to be. There is no such thing as personality in your dictionary, but only accommodation.

People who mean nothing to you, but is able to criticize for whatever things you do. Your mistakes is being magnified a million time, but your credits is being minimized to nil.

I mean, it is a good thing to accept genuine feedback from people to help you improve. I am not saying that you should eliminate all the bad comments. You need to decide for yourself , and if it is beneficial to you then go ahead and listen.

Have you ever asked yourself, why do you allow these comments to affect your happiness?

I mean, some comments can be really hurtful. They use inappropriate words, which are disrespectful. In the end, you’re suffering emotionally and have no friends by your side. Your family may be with you, but surely they will not understand what you are going through since neither of you are in the same position.

You become the rightful victim to be mentally abused by the crowd. In some cases, you sort of deserve it. Why, because you ALLOW them to do this to you. You cry, and complaining life is unfair. However, when you think back, you will see that everything happen is because you give in in the first place.

Well, I am not saying you should ignore and let the world judge your everything. If you don’t portray yourself to be a weakling, no one will be in the right mind to fool around with a tiger/tigress.

However, some may opt for a different approach.

Well, this brings me to my next topic. Sympathy Card.

What is a sympathy card?

People who gain sympathy from others by attacking their most vulnerable emotional part. Or, people who portray themselves as someone who is the nicest person on earth.

They will make themselves look like a victim and the weaker ones. They will manipulate people to go in their way. Others will be supportive and speak well of them. In this way, they can get the attention they’ve always been craving for.

However, maybe they mean no harm or just afraid of being lonely. Maybe attention is one way to motivate them and keep them going. Maybe they need attention from people to prevent them to separate from their world. It is not wrong for liking attention. However, it is not right to make use of people’s emotion.

In this advanced IT world, most people are being brain-washed that popularity is the way to survive. They want their names to be all over the place, whether it is on newspaper or social website.

My way to deal with sympathy card is never to give in. In fact, I will become more aggressive and sarcastic to make myself look like the bad person. I don’t need everyone to see me as a lovely angel. i got my true friends to know and understand me.

My thinking is, you can have the whole world to be by your side. But, never ever in any of your brain cell, that you decide to come and provoke me.

You are disgusting. Period.

I am happy enough to separate myself away from the world and attention-starving social world.

I don’t know, my body got this allergy to this special species. When I know this kind of people want to come in and make my life miserable, I will decide to have some fun. Some people will roll their eyes at me, and dislike me for my aggressiveness.
However, I don’t give a damn of their impression of me.

Do I need them in my life? Nope.
Do their presence affect my life in a good way? Nope.
Will I die when they disappear in my life? Absolutely not.

So , why don’t you be yourself and different from the crowd?

Isn’t that much more appealing?

Signing off,
Ang.

Life is a gamble.

it is an old saying, isn’t it?

You can’t blame me to be emotional after witnessing so much gamble addicts gathered in the Casino and betting thousands of dollars in a game. Within seconds, you can either become richer or lose all your money.

I can’t deny that I do like to enjoy this thrilling sensation once in a while, like during Chinese New Year or weekend casual Mahjong session.

Also, I like to watch films that plot focus on Casino or gambling. Not that I am an addict myself, but is because I do agree with the message that it is trying to convey to us during that few episodes.

Some people dread gambling, because they think that it is foolish to lose all your hard-earned money away. It is like throwing them into the sea. Also, they believe that there is no free meals in this world.

The most typical ones are those who gamble for the sake of gambling. They visit the Casino every weekend and hope their luck will help him tripled their winnings. Some are arrogant, after Lady Luck is backing them up. Some are stubborn, not willing to leave the table after losing all of their money. They treat Casino as their second home, and even settle their meals while gambling. They will only leave the place to shower and refresh themselves before going in for another ‘battle’. They are bad-tempered, and get agitated easily especially when it comes to money issue.

I have seen a few uncouth of gamblers who are unafraid to make a scene because of minor money issues. Total turn-off. All i can say is they think too highly of themselves.
Even though they may be GM or working in those prestigious company, their body languages tell me how uneducated they are.

There is a chinese belief saying that your gambling character will show the true colours of yourself. Even if you have always been portraying the good image all these while, people can see through your soul after going a few rounds of game with you and you can’t hide at all.

Well, I do believe it as well.

Not only in Casino, gamble play a significant part in our life.

When you put a stake on your new job, hoping that it will be better than the previous one. You hope that you are not making a wrong mistake which will make you regret badly.

When you put a stake in your chance to live, and sign the approval letter to go on the operation. You hope that the operation will go smoothly, and your life will be back to normal.

When you put a stake in your marriage, that your partner will stay faithful and loyal to you for the rest of your lifetime. All you need is a blissful marriage, and not suffer daily with physical and mentally abuse.

When you put a stake in your company reputation or capital, that your investment will bring greater credits to the future prospect. You throw in tons of capital, and mortgage your personal assets when you just need one mistake to lose everything.

When you put a stake to pursue your dreams instead of getting a decent job with a satisfying monthly income, hoping that you can lead the ideal life you’ve always yearn for.

Many think that gambling is bad, and it will ruin your live forever. However, it is only depends on what kind of risk are you taking.

Are you challenging your fate and for hoping of a better future life?

Or, are you challenging on the betting table for hoping to double up your money?

Some stakes are unavoidable in life, while some are purely addiction and greed.

Every human being is greedy. Once you have being treated a better quality of life than before, you will ask for more.

At first, you will think that you are satisfied with what you have. However, as you grow older, you feel that current lifestyle is not enough. You know you wanted more, and you think you deserve more.
This can be a good way for motivating yourself to work towards a better quality of life.

At first, you won a hundred dollar from the table. You try your luck and double up your bet, and won again another few hundreds.
You become greedy and throw what you’ve in one game. All-in. If you win, you can treat yourself or your family a good meal that is impossible to indulge with your pathetic monthly salary.

I have seen a gambler went from depressed to confident after his luck has came back.
I have seen a gambler went from laughing to frowning after a few games.
I have seen a gambler disappear for a few hours, and back again for more.
I have seen a gambler yelling at the dealer after losing money when he got a good sets of winning card.
I have seen a gambler lose control and demand the dealer to be fired and get out of the Casino immediately.

Dangerous, yet alluring.

Signing off,
Ang.

Guilt or Love…?

Do you ever has this feeling of “Unknown” when you broke up with your partner?
Not knowing whether it is the guilt, or the fact that actually you do have feelings for him just that you didn’t realize it in the first place.

You look at him in the eyes, and the thoughts of never gonna see him again just make you keep crying. He cried, and you cry harder.

You don’t know if giving a second chance will benefit all, or will be just wasting his time.

You hug him tight for the last time, and never want to let go for that moment. Because you know that he will be gone once you remove your hands.

You sat in his car for the last time, and hope the drive will last forever. Looking at him driving, and holding his left hand to feel that he is there.

You saw his eyes welling up with tears as you thank him for everything he have done.

You remember him sitting by your side planting gentle kisses on your cheeks to wake you up.

You sneezed during your sleep, and he immediately grab a blanket and cover you up.

You need a shoulder to cry on, and he will be there as fast as he can.

You rants. He listens, and giving you the right advices instead of poisoning you with wrong thoughts.

You lie on his laps, and he stroked your hair gently to let you rest for that few minutes.

You work, and he will do his best to accommodate your schedules.

You know he did his best to work out this relationship, and you disappoint him.

Last but not least, you wipe your tears away while writing this post and forcing yourself to finish your last word before you break down.

Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I wish you well, and hope you will meet your lifelong partner who deserve your everything.

Sorry.

Signing off,
Ang.