Monthly Archives: June 2014

Respect

Last Saturday, I went to the FHM Final 2014 and it wasn’t ended so well.

I was shocked that there are guys on earth who can be so disrespectful to women.

I mean, I have seen guys complaining having to pay extra their girlfriends, or can’t stand if women are earning more than their current salary. Having ego is by guy’s nature, but not when you have no respect in women at all.

So this guy, named Brandon “The Beast” was trying to hit on my friend after the final has ended. My girl and I were both slacking at Azurra Beach Club, at one spot and unfortunately he and his group of friends were just beside us. So, he came up and offer my friend a drink and some snacks. Well, it was nice of him. Perfect gentleman act, but quite dramatic.

So my friend, who is attached, rejected his offer and showed no interest in him at all. I was joking and teasing my friend at that time. The mood was completely fine and casual.

Second time he came over, and wanted my friend to take a sip of his beer. So, my friend rejected him again but this time, he was being a little pushy and insisted my friend to do as per his request. Well, of course, my friend still rejected him. I was feeling abit annoyed by his acts, as he was deliberately pretending that he did not to get the hint to back off.

In the end, i was enjoying the conversation with my friend (which hasn’t happened in the longest time) and they decided to approach again. I was pissed, cause they completely ruined the mood. Thinking that they will only hangout for a while, so we entertained them alittle as it is okay to make friends.

I am fine with guys who have high confidence in themselves, it is normal. This is their personality. I am NOT FINE with guys who are overconfidence and thinking he can score with any woman he hit on. Yes, you may have been scoring well all these while, but not all women see you as their own cup of tea.

This Brandon guy, was completely forcing his advance on my girl and i was not exactly happy with him. However, I know that my girl will handle it well. Hence, I endured his nonsenses. What made me roll my eyes is when he said this after my girl told him that she’s attached. “So, you guys are not even married yet right? …” I’ve forgotten what he said behind, but i don’t care.

What kind of nonsense is this? I realised that nowadays, alot of guys have this mentality. They think that as long as the girl he is hitting on is not married, they will stand a chance to woo her. How about let’s think in this way: If a girl will accept your pursuit even though she is unavailable at that point of time, do you think this kind of thing won’t happen to you?

My second roll eye moment. We were talking about a company who is set up by his other 2 friends (not him), called “Seriously Man”. It is interesting, as it is about a guide to life for GENTLEMAN only. Oh, according to his friends, he is just the helper. Which is good, if not he is ruining the reputation of this company. His friends are real gentlemen. Well, you can see the difference.

However, he was just so cocky that made me use my sarcasm:” Where do you get your overconfidence from?”

“Oh, we are just born with it. It is in our blood.” Erm guys, there is no such thing as being “born with confidence”. Confidence is build up from your successful experiences and people’s compliment as you grow up. It is impossible to get this naturally. If so, I will urge you to participate in “Guinness World Record” and win yourself some awards.

FYI, I am a fan of intelligent answers. You should get yourself a Master degree in Crap and Bullshit Management.

It was pretty obvious that both of us don’t see eye to eye with each other, and there was an internal war going on. So, my friend and I decided to leave first. I was keeping my cool, until he said: Well, I think that all Asian girls are are kind of one kind, don’t they?”

Being a fan of sarcasm, i questioned him:” Define “One Kind”.

He said:” Well, they are kind of… erm… conservative?”

I was being offended because it  was clearly shooting the both of us. I questioned him again :” Define “Conservative”.

Blah blah blah, he went defending for him which I think is bull shitting so I didnt pay attention. It was clearly i was on the verge of explosion and decided to let it go. It was not worth it to lose my cool for this kind of self-obsessed guy.

Until I heard the word “Bitch” coming out from his mouth, and I admit calling him “douche-bag” in order to fight back for myself. His friend came to stop us, and he went over-boarded by calling me  “Fucking bitch fucking bitch” from behind. Trust me, it was damn loud and he completely enjoyed doing that.

I forgot if he have pointed middle finger but the actions he showed aren’t polite at all. Worst thing was, I saw everything.

I went ahead and scolded him as I felt it wasn’t fair that i should be insulted by this especially I was not in the wrong. It was so disrespectful to me and totally not a way a gentleman should act.

You are so full of yourself that you thought that everything should go in your way. You are like a kiddo trying to get attention from everyone so that they can buy you sweets. You are self-centered who assume all girls will be feel it is their honor for you to hit on them. Let me tell you. Girls may be mesmerized by your sweet talking words, but not women. Why, because women are looking for a gentleman, not a random guy who assume he is so good looking that he is fit to be a Casanova. Oh ya, there is a certain standard to be a Casanova and unfortunately you do not even fit the basic criteria, which is your looks.

Worse still, you do not have a single respect in woman. You thought that all girls are the same kind of species. Please, use your brain to filter your words first before it come out from your filthy mouth.. Compared to me, you are the one who is being a whiny girl and crude for using foul language to defend yourself. You know what, you are embarrassing yourself in public and being so childish. Do you think that others who saw will think that you’re so manly and charming?

No please. It is a huge turn off for girls, and even for guys.

You think girls will get intimidated by your stupid acts? Well, maybe girls do but not woman. We stand for ourselves and prove to you that you are wrong. We tell you right in the face to give respect to us cause we deserve it. I, myself, will not tolerate people for not giving me the respect that i deserve.

Some of them may think that apology is enough to ease them, but not to me. You may have said “Sorry” to me, however I am not obliged to accept it and have the rights to be pissed. I know i was being (what you said) “”uncouth for” for not shaking your hand after you apologized. It was rude on my part to ignore and walked away, I know. i don’t care about what you think about me. I don’t give a shit. I have rights to choose who to be my friend. Once you have pissed me off, I don’t forgive and I don’t forget. Anyway, I don’t feel your sincerity at all.

A quick question. Don’t you feel bad that your stupid acts can put your friend’s company at risk?

I can feel the anxiety from them when we are questioning your friends how can your acts matches the motto of your company. They are trying their very best to appease us and explaining to us carefully to prevent offending us further in order to save their reputation. I don’t know which part of role you are playing in this company, maybe the shareholder or whatever (I don’t care). However, i can see that you don’t care much and don’t really think of the consequences either. Everything is just in the moment to vent out your anger and try your best to humiliate women.

Also, you need your friends to wipe your butt and clear your mess after you’ve created trouble instead of settling it yourself. You just hide behind them and continue enjoying your night, thinking that it is your friend’s duty to clear it up for you. Maybe inside the clique, you are the big shot. However, this means that your friendship with the rest are measurable with money and socializing value. Nothing is genuine. This is not how friend should treat each other. We choose to be around them because they are like the family we never have, and enjoy each other’s company. We hope the best for them, and correct their mistakes if they are in the wrong to improve themselves.

You do not deserve to have friends like them who helped you settled the trouble you’ve made. They treat you as their brothers, but i don’t see the same from you and your actions.

As a guy, you should come out and settle yourself. It is not necessary to be owning up to your mistakes and say sorry. However, you can come out and settle your grudges with me if you’re still not happy with what i’ve said. And, not by disappearing behind them hoping they can settle the score for you.

Also, do you realized that not a single soul stand up for you and join you in scolding me? Well, either they do not agree with your actions and think it is wrong, or they are plain lazy to do so.

Well, for the other two sitting down watching the show, I don’t know. Maybe is the second option. However, for the two guys that explained to us, definitely I can confirm that they do not agree with your actions.

A moment of truth, you are a disgrace for your company. One that completely doesn’t fit to be a gentleman, and (as far as i can see) not learning either. I don’t care if this sound insulting or not, but i just have to be straightforward and say it.

Can’t believe this kind of guy exist on earth, and i have personally deal with them. Totally wasted my energy and my strength. I shouldn’t have got angry over him, since he is a nobody to me. Well, life do comes with unpleasant surprises too right?

One last thing before I end this post.

Respect for woman is the basic fundamental to become a gentleman. And, i am not saying respect by means of acting and showing your true colors after that. What I mean is to respect from the bottom of your heart and see them as a person, and not a fuck partner or your winning trophy. Women can take up your game, it is just up to them whether they want or not. Don’t think that women are just some predictable species on earth that help to give birth and be a housewife.

If you do not even know the basic priority to become a gentleman, don’t ever EVER think of becoming one yourself.

 

With regards,

Ang.

 

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The deepest memories i have with you

I was looking through my facebook friends and i realised all the memories i have had with them.

Some are funny, some are sad, some are most memorable and some are just… plain.

I have no idea whom I should choose to write them down, but maybe I shall just go through all of my friends list and write down those I’ve with the one I will never forget. Why do I find myself so creepy writing this post?

Here goes (Warning: It may be a really looooong post):

Elysia Tan – Rmb once i was with you at a salon at Far East Plaza and you decided to perm your hair. You had bangs, and your hairdresser just removed the hair rolls. It was fucking hilarious when your hairdresser decided to coil 2 parts of your hair to the separate sides and you gave me the i-look-stupid face.

Gillian Chua – Rmb once when you were holding a book on your chest, and your boobs started to squeeze out of your strap top but i didn’t tell you. My mind was,”Wow, this petite girl boob’s are quite big.” Until now, my eyes will unknowingly focus down there.

Anna Phua – When you scolded Jerome in class, cause he keep saying F-you.

Ng Mei Qi – Your vulgarities, so passionate. 

Daniel Lucas – Rmb once when you freaked out when you thought that your ciggs were gone, but actually it was in your front pocket. After that you tried to pull it off by laughing. And I laughed out loud, literally.

Nicholas Glenn – We were at Wild honey, and you joined us later while we were still eating our brunch. The way you became drama chomping down our food, it just stuck in my mind. From then on, this flashback keep coming back when we were having meal together. Wow…

Yi Ting – When we were young, and once you decided to keep disturbing. I got pissed and wanted to chase you. Immediately, you ran away while turning behind. Accidentally, you stepped on a piece of cloth, and fell down. Trust me, it was fucking epic. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

Bao Ting – During your secondary school years, our mom decided to cut your fringe and in the end you thought that it got too short that you started to cry. Your reason,” I can’t flip my hair behind my ears.” Seriously, it was really you who have over reacted.

Leow Li Yi – All the food looks so damn tasty when you eat.

De Yun – During poly, i called you from behind. When you turned and your legs went weak and almost fall down, i was laughing so hard because you keep explaining it was because of the training you did earlier on during waterpolo practice. LOL!

Jasmine Mah – Our worst fight ever in secondary school. I feel so so so bad until now. :(

Sam Ho – Once, when you poured almost the whole bottle of shredded cheese into your carbonara and still requested for more sauce. It was… impressive. Jaw dropping.

Er Jia Yan/ Hiew Li Young – Both of you got so angry when Jasmine and myself pranked you guys that we were still on cold war during secondary school. Oops.

Denise Kan – During our final presentation for end of internship, and you started crying. That was the first time (I think) i saw you crying because of the hardship that we went through during that 6 months.

Mynt A’ly – I forgot what we were talking about, and I asked you what will do if (something something) happened to you. You replied that you will pretend that you’re sick and faint right on the spot. I don’t know, but i find that so funny with your dramatic act!

Lim Su Guan David – When I was still in internship, i’ve accidentally spilled the sauce onto a guest top. In the end, you asked me go to back of house. I thought i will get a bad scolding from you, but you didn’t. After a while, you came in and joked with me. After that, i realised that it was because you wanted the guest to feel that i got scolded by you so that they will not be harsh on me. Major thank you!

Jerome Chew – You, all of your witty ideas and your ultimate sarcasm that never fails to make me laugh. Thanks buddy for teaching me so well. BEST BUD FTW!

Ewe Farkas – You know, you’ve got a really nice part of ankles. Especially when you are wearing heels.

Poon Kaiying – Mountains and mountains of tissues used by you in class, and your ever-lasting runny nose.

Janice Fong Yi Xin – When you always called me mushroom head, and drive me back home whenever there is any outing. Greatly appreciated!

Stella Ong – Once, in class, and we were joking about armpits and you started airing them. Wtf, hahahaha!

Hellven Jeremy – We were OGLs and trying out the game for the freshmen orientation. The game was about jumping between the legs of the line of people sitting down. In the end, I got a shock when your pranked on me by scaring me out of nowhere. I had a really really embarrassing fall.

Stefanus Zhang – We were placing a game and your laughter is so contagious that made me non-stop laughing.

Stephanie Seah – When we were working together in Metro, and you accidentally knocked your head on the edge of the drawer. And, you laughed it off. Isn’t it painful?

Sean Cheng – You keep on imitating head spasm, and I almost died of laughing. Still have the video as proof.

Chanel Huang Hui Wen – You brought me into a pub for the first time, and i got so high by playing games with the server. Also, it was never boring to be working with you.

Lee Xin En – We were at a playground when you were waiting for your dad to fetch you. In the end, you got so scared when your dad saw your drinking a can of coke. That’s really strict right…?

Alright, that’s it for now. Shall continue next time.

 

With Regrets,

Ang.

Change of focus

We, once had a wonderful time together.

It was considered a few best times i have ever had, and thought that it will be stuck in my mind forever.

Surprisingly, as you’re moving on (I am saying mentally and firmly and literally), you will start to realize that some part of the memories have slowly faded off. 

You will focus on other more important issues, your loved ones and yourself.

One day, when you try to recall back all the best times, the pictures in your mind is like a damaged tape. You can only recall some parts of it, and everything is like a dream to you. You don’t feel the excitement anymore, no more missing those times, regrets or hoping for the impossible.

You will start to focus on your future goal. Things you want to achieve and not be standing at the same spot. You will want to improve, your looks, your mind, and your soul. You scold yourself for being so stupid in the past, and stupidly dangling hoping one day things will turn better. You want everything to back to its normal state, when you are looking forward in life with enthusiasm. 

Finally, you know what you want and got the surge of power to achieve it. Suddenly, you started to believe in yourself and know that things will really gonna be better from now on. All those bad habits, nasty people that want to slowly destroy your inner confidence, you want to get rid of them.

You stepped out of the box, and question yourself,” why are you wasting your precious youths on these which are not what you want?”.

Things will turn better, and for what i always believe in “This Too Shall Pass”.

 

With Regards,

Ang.

From the start, we can forsee things will ultimately come to an end

I had a tattoo “This Too Shall Pass” inked on myself.

There isn’t any significant story behind me to explain why I am willing to endure that less than an hour of bearable but cold-sweating pain. However, this is because I am a strong believer that there is no such thing as “Forever”. 

In movies, there are frictional stories of vampires or immortal spirits that will live forever or 1000 years. Long lasting life which fantasies all the fans with creative imagination.

Why, because we all know that humans can’t do this shit. Which is why, we are fascinated when a person being can live up to 100 years old, and it will be widely publicized on newspapers and reports.

As known to everyone, The Cycle of Life. We can’t outlive ourselves. Once our body stop functioning, it means the time has arrived.

Being brought to this world by your parents, learning to speak, going through puberty, being in love, married, having a family, retirement and in the end, our heart will stop pumping and body turn icy cold.

At first, i was trying not to think of all these. And hated the fact that all my loved ones will die one day, especially my parents. I can’t imagine when the day arrive, and i will be crying my hearts out and regretting not giving them enough love when they are still around. Everyone will come to me and pat on my shoulder, telling me how sorry they feel for my loss. The feeling is so real, and lonely. Once a few times, i’ve cried in bed when my emotional imagination decided to be active. The next day, i felt so grateful that all of these are not happening to me. Yet.

Yes, most Chinese will find it inauspicious to be talking about death, especially to elderly or your parents. It is considered a taboo topic to talk about. But, the realistic truth is, we all know that this day will come. Just that, we avoid thinking about it. Some may say i am being too emotional and maybe is because my period is coming. Yes, i admit i do get emotional at times thinking about the impossibles and ‘what ifs’. As your grow older, receiving so much education, you know that this is not about being superstitious at all. 

When we were young, we will not be thinking so much negativity. The saddest time is only when daddy don’t get me the toy i want, or mummy is whipping me with her favorite cane.

Only then, i’ve realised that we are not afraid of death. We are afraid of our loved ones leaving us and we can no longer feel their presence around us. We take it for granted, and not cherishing every moment with them. We will miss the food that they cook for us, miss the good times and laughter. Miss the quarrels, and their voices. Miss the smell that linger around you when they are just beside you. Miss the warmth of their hands, and miss them so much that you can feel your heart aching inside you. Miss their habits, and the foot stepping sounds around the house.

The house will be quiet, really quiet. You can no longer hear them calling your name, scolding you and nagging you. You will be seating on the sofa, looking around the house, knowing that everything will not be the same anymore. No matter how hard you try to find back all the good old times, it will never be the same. Because the special person is not there anymore, to complete the picture. It will be like a piece of missing puzzle. 

Thinking of all these scenarios, gave me a chill down my spine. It is like the dementor is attacking, and all the happiness seems to be gone.

i know it is cliche to say, but cherishing all these good and bad moments before it’s too late. We do have regrets in life, but don’t ever let this regrets overpower your souls of happiness. 

Life is like an essay. There is always a full stop at the end of every sentence. We must admit that people will leave one day, but the real concern is whether the memories you have are enough to last the rest of your lifetime. Is it enough to bring you smile, and laugh at the same time?

We should welcome all endings with both hands. But wait, ask yourself, are you ready to end your chapter like this? 

 

With Regards,
Ang.